Tag Archives: lady friendships

Chemistry by Weike Wang

image1 (4)As someone currently stumbling through a PhD program, I was delighted to read a book about a character tripping, falling, and removing themselves from similar circumstances. PhD programs are super weird and demanding in different ways that are hard to explain to people who haven’t pursued one so I gobble up opportunities to hear about experiences, even fictional, navigating the strange world of PhDs. 

Chemistry by Weike Wang is almost like a diary/stream of consciousness of the main, unnamed character. She’s in a Chemistry PhD program, which are known to be notoriously demanding because of time required to be physically present in a lab to run experiments, and she’s completely flailing. Some of the “chapters” are simply written with thoughts that sometimes seem half-formed, as if they are the real thoughts of someone who is feeling quite a bit lost and not sure of where to turn next. 

The main character has Chinese parents who are no longer in the U.S. and their extreme expectations for the main character highlight her struggle between the “American dream” and her parents’ evaluation of what it means to succeed in America. This is juxtaposed with her white, American boyfriend’s comparatively easy experience of success because he isn’t simultaneously struggling to barely meet his parents’ expectations of all of the things they perceive he should also be accomplishing.  Most of the struggle in this book is related to the main character’s  parents’ expectations and demands not aligning with what would ultimately help her reach personal and professional happiness and the juxtaposition of the ease of her boyfriend to excel through the same program. 

Some readers may wish that this had more depth, but I enjoyed the brevity! There are some beautiful little bits (the deer metaphor was my favorite!) that are sandwiched in here that would be easy to miss if you were speed reading. I suspect that enjoyment of this book might be limited to those familiar with PhD programs or those interested in the family dynamics. If either of those sound like stories you want to read, scoop this up!

Publication Date: 23 May 2017 by Knopf PublishingFormat: Hardcover.

Author: Weike Wang bio

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All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister

IMG_8200Woof! It’s been a minute since I’ve blogged. A few life changes (exciting ones!) have been demanding my time and graduate school has been feasting off of my life outside of work time too. Thus, while I’ve still been reading, I haven’t been motivated to write reviews in a bit… until now! Here comes my review for All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister. 

I procured this little book nearly two years ago and while I was loving it, it was simply too bulky of a read for me to keep pace with for where I was mentally at the time. However, when I picked it up again, I dove right into All the Single Ladies and enjoyed the whole thing! This lovely little book consists of Traister situating single women within America’s history, culture, and society. This means that at times, it can feel like reading a socio-cultural textbook, which may be too heady for your interests (in definitely was for me two years ago), but if you parse it out instead of trying to read straight through in a handful of days, it’s a delight! 

Traister recounts historical moments and movements related to women gaining independence and sprinkles in lots of wonderful interviews about women claiming their piece of the pie and how partnerships (either romantic or friendship-based) can help or hinder their goals. Traister wonderfully captures a variety of women’s experiences across race, age, sexuality, economic resources, job interests, family dynamics, geographical location, and beyond. I especially loved her chapter on lady friendships (Chapter 4: “Dangerous as Lucifer Matches: The Friendships of Women”) because that is a topic that always makes me feel giddy, thankful for my amazing friends, personally empowered, and inspires me to continue watering my friendships with love and support. This chapter alone is everything that I had hoped Text Me When You Get Home would have been.

I thoroughly recommend reading this book, then sharing it one of your besties, and then showering each other in appreciation and support and encouraging each other to achieve your goals!!

Publication Date: 1 March 2016 by Simon & Schuster. Format: Hardcover.

Author: Rebecca Traister web/@twitter

Mini Review: I’ve Got This Round by Mamrie Hart

IMG_8213Having never watched Mamrie Hart’s YouTube show or read her first book, You Deserve a Drink, you’d think that her second book about her adventures, I’ve Got This Round, might be a slog for me. It was anything but! I eagerly devoured this book from start to finish and giggled frequently while reading. At the h(e)art of it, Hart is a comedy writer and that really shines through while she’s recounting the last few years of her life jaunting around the world with her friends, weeping, swimming in tubs shaped like champagne, and drinking. The comedy is tight within in her book of personal essays and Hart references lil throwaway jokes from previous chapters that make the reader feel like they’re in on some fun inside jokes. This book is truly a hoot and I’ll be snapping up Hart’s debut soon. Hart made me want to travel travel travel and get into some hijinks with my friends and wish that she was one of them.

This book comes out TOMORROW!! Tuesday, 6 February 2018, and you should bring it into your life immediately!

Disclaimer: I was provided with a digital copy of this book for free from Plume via NetGalley. All opinions expressed in the review are my own and have not been influenced by Plume or NetGalley.

Publication Date: 6 February 2018 by PlumeFormat: E-book ARC.

Author: Mamrie Hart @twitter/YouTube/@instagram/facebook

Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

turtlesallthewaydownAcquiring Turtles All the Way Down by John Green was a bit of magical experience. While I don’t think we’ll ever have a book as demand as the Harry Potter series, encouraging midnight release parties and the like, the demand for Green’s latest novel was pretty high and the text was highly protected, no Advance Reader’s Copies or anything. Despite the publisher enacting a veil of secrecy around the book, I somehow found it accidentally on the shelf of a big box retailer a weekend before its release date. Of course I snatched it up, especially because I knew I shouldn’t have been able to procure it. Both my boyfriend and I had been eagerly anticipating this book and because I brought into both of our lives before the rest of the world got to enjoy it, we decided to take turns reading the novel aloud to each other. If you have never done this with someone you cherish, you should. It was one of the most oddly intimate things I’ve ever done and it felt special to do it with this novel specifically, considering the main character has certain mental health struggles that we had both experienced in different ways. I found it easier to talk about some of my experiences in context of the character and that was fantastic. If you have had experiences similar to what the main character Aza regularly lives with, I think you could give this to loved ones to help convey what may motivate certain thoughts, actions, and behaviors in your life in a simpler way than trying to articulate it yourself. In a weird way, this novel helped me think about some of my behaviors in a way I hadn’t contextualized them for myself before, which is pretty powerful. 

I’ve been a fan of Green’s works for more than 10 years, so it would take a lot for me not to enjoy one of his novels now. My positive bias accounted for, Turtles All the Way Down was great and fantastic and I loved it. The characters were witty and the storyline was completely engrossing. I loved dissecting it aloud as I moved forward with reading the book.

I put off writing this review for a long time, as if delaying the review would retain some of the magic of how I acquired and read this text, and that has unfortunately negatively affected the actual substance of my review because I remember the feeling of reading this book more than I remember all the odds and ends. I remember feeling comforted and understood and loved and all of that was special. I wish I could have read this book as a teen because I think it would have added some clarity to parts of my life that were all too confusing to me then, and I hope it is able to do that for teens who read it now. 

Publication Date: 10 October 2017 by Dutton Books for Young ReadersFormat: Hardcover.

Author: John Green @twitter/facebook/instagram/YouTube

Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship by Kayleen Schaefer

textmewhenyougethomeText Me When You Get Home‘s title is based off of how lady friends will often end an in person hang out by telling each other to “text me when you get home,” like a subtle “I love you” and acknowledgment of the potential for danger that lurks beneath any women’s experience moving from one place to another. As someone who does this regularly with my friends, I LOVED the premise of this book (anecdote: I also paid more attention to how my friends reacted to me saying this at the conclusion of our hangs while reading: women always responded positively, straight + cis men literally guffawed at the thought [unless they were related to me], men who weren’t straight or cis reacted less strongly than women, but still positively). Despite loving the premise of this book, I felt like something was missing from these essays detailing the histories of female friendships, how they currently exist, and what influences them. 

I’ve been paying attention to how this subject matter is covered for a while, so I was thrilled to see a formal gathering of everything related to girls’ and women’s friendships. Text Me When You Get Home compiles existing thoughts and dissects them further, but there are some important pieces missing. I felt like there should’ve been a better historical dive (such as exploring Victorian lady friendships in more depth than the brief description within the conclusion) or that there had been further explanation of how friendships did exist before the 1950s ideal of romantic marriages took over instead of detailing one example of letters between Julia Child and Avis DeVoto. I would have also liked more emphasis on how the rise of dating culture had an inverse effect on women’s friendships with each other. This piece is brushed upon a fair amount, but if there had been discussion about how these friendships HAD existed and then disappeared, it would have made this book a little stronger.
I was familiar with most of the media examples explored (except for the film Girls Trip, which I promptly watched on a flight after reading this book; do recommend!), so there wasn’t a lot of new information for me. This is probably why I found the book a bit disappointing because I’ve read similar thoughts expounded upon before. However, if this is your first time exploring the topic of lady friendships or you have found yourself newly enjoying your lady friends after casting off their potential previously, this is a great book for you. If you’ve been embracing the many wonders of close lady friendships for some time and recognize the special and multitude roles they fulfill in your life and love reading about lady friendships, both real and depicted in media, this might feel a lil redundant and late to the party. 
Kayleen Schaefer, the author, used to work on staff at magazines, and she describes her initial condemnation of superficial women’s magazines (and acknowledges this), but this felt a little odd to me. Her previous self thought it was trivial to read or write about things like women’s hair management, etc., despite writing about the same topics for a (now defunct) men’s magazine. Unfortunately, Schaefer doesn’t ever really assert that caring about these topics, from either a women’s or men’s perspective, shouldn’t be frowned upon and that maybe she’s still viewing topics of worth through a male lens. She does combats this slightly, but it felt like walking through molasses to get there: “I was undermining and dismissing my sex by not seeing us as complex people who shouldn’t have to conform to anyone’s standard of what’s cool or not,”  (p. 108; from Advance Reader’s Copy and may not be how this is worded in the published version).

What I liked best in Text Me When You Get Home were other people’s quotes (Judy Bloom, etc.), so I almost felt like this would’ve worked better as a colorful coffee table book with selected quotes from interviews conducted by the author about friendship on bright pages instead.

To reiterate, I do think this will be a good read for someone who is a novice in exploring lady friendships. If you’ve already been wading in the waters for a bit (literarily and with your own relations), it might be worth passing on this and finding a good long read instead. I read a really nice long read on the history of victorian friendships and the intimate letters that women used to write to each other, sharing a special closeness to their best lady friends that they didn’t with their husbands, but unfortunately I cannot find it anywhere. I did manage to find a nice long read by Megan Garber on depictions of female friendships in the media that I had shared among my friends when I first read it and now I share it with you.

Disclaimer: I was provided with a digital copy of this book for free from Dutton via NetGalley. All opinions expressed in the review are my own and have not been influenced by Dutton or NetGalley.

Publication Date: 6 February 2018 by DuttonFormat: E-book ARC.

Author: Kayleen Schaefer web/@twitter/@instagram

Mini Review: I Hate Everyone, but You by Gaby Dunn & Allison Raskin

ihateeveryonebutyouThis book was ANNOYING!! Is it normal in teen friendships for one friend to be mostly terrible and one to be mostly great and for an outside observer (or reader in this case) to root for the two to stay friends? I think not. Instead of encouraging these two misfit friends to grow with other friends who align more with their interests, we see the two main characters (Aza and Gen) repeatedly force themselves to continue being friends with their closest friend from high school. While hints about this not being the best friendship came up a few times, I would have liked the toxicity of the friendship to have directly been addressed instead of slightly implied and magically resolved so that people reading this novel don’t think that represents a normal, healthy friendship that they should continue to contribute to.

I laughed a lot with Gen’s dialogue and found her to be a pretty enjoyable character that I would’ve liked to have seen in a different story. I really liked the novel format of the book, which is entirely consists of relayed emails and text messages. I really loved the concept of two high school best friends who are navigating the friendship growing pains of each friend individually going in a different direction, but I did not like the execution of this book at all. The two authors are pretty famous on the internet, particularly YouTube, but I was unfamiliar with them before I had read the book so my impressions of them didn’t make me read this with rose-colored lenses. The main characters also both have names that begin with the same letters as the authors’ names… make of that what you will.

 

Publication Date: 5 September 2017 by Wednesday BooksFormat: Hardcover.

Author: Gaby Dunn YouTube/@twitter/@instagram and Allison Raskin YouTube/@twitter/@instagram

Mini Review: Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

biglittleliesBig Little Lies was a delightful & quick read that I recommend for anyone interested in pop thrillers. Of the pop thrillers I’ve read (Gone Girl, The Girl on the Train), Big Little Lies is by far the best of the batch! Lots of little jokes are wormed in around the several disasters that crop up throughout the book. I was able to predict the biggest plot twist, but everyone I know who has read it wasn’t able to. Despite being able to predict the big twist, I was still extremely satisfied with how the book wrapped up, a rare feeling when figuring out a plot point before you’re meant to. There are lots of funny bits about family life in suburbia and a slew of delightful characters that made me want to constantly return to this book as a distraction from real life. Plus, there are plenty of true facts about domestic, physical, and emotional abuse woven throughout the novel that will hopefully help readers understand how these terrible things can take multiple forms and cause readers to be more aware of these very serious, but unfortunately very common issues that plague so many.

If you or someone you know may be in a situation that involves domestic violence or abuse, please visit this website for a list of resources.