Tag Archives: dear sugar

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Screen Shot 2018-09-19 at 8.00.09 PMI snatched up Wild at a resell shop after loving every word of Strayed’s Tiny Beautiful Things, a compilation of bits of her advice column for Dear Sugar. I love the way that Strayed weaves a sentence and a feeling, so I knew that I would probably greatly enjoy her famous memoir about a very specific period of her life.

At 26, Strayed is newly divorced, reeling and grieving from the sudden death of her mother a few years ago, and feeling unattached to anything in the world. She sets forth to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, or PCT as it more regularly called, alone and entirely unprepared. What follows are her musings of her life up until 26 and all of the moving pieces that came together for her to feel compelled to tackle an incredibly difficult hike, despite lacking any hiking experience or training. Strayed felt like she had mountains to climb, both physical and mental, and that she needed to be alone to do it.

I found Wild to be entirely captivating, as I read through someone recounting the mistakes they made, acknowledging the harm they caused others, and descriptions of wading through grief. All by happenstance of when I stumbled upon this book, I ended up taking Wild to four different state parks in California which felt perfect and majestic and left me thinking that maybe I, too, could trek across the PCT. (Spoiler: I can’t and I won’t because Strayed is extremely lucky nothing very terrible happened to her on her hike; and because I quite enjoyed driving to the parks, getting lost in nature for a few hours, then piling back into a car and driving back to my quiet, air conditioning lodging).

Beyond inciting a need to place myself into nature, Wild moved me in other ways. Every time I read a piece from Strayed about losing her mother (see here for a post I share nearly every Mother’s Day), I feel suddenly seen, in a way that is striking and comfortable simultaneously. These were the parts of her memoir that bubbled within my chest for several days at a time. I loved reading about Strayed’s journey and all of the messy bits along the way. I hope to keep reading her words for years to come.

Publication Date: 20 March 2012 by KnopfFormat: Paperback.

Author: Cheryl Strayed web/twitter/instagram/facebook

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[the best of] dear coquette: shady advice from a raging bitch who has no business answering any of these questions

Screen Shot 2017-05-14 at 11.29.17 AMI picked up this book form of a long running advice column without being aware of the source material – it was on a display at my local library and I found the cover compelling (yep, judged the book by its cover!) so I snatched it up and dove in, enjoying the segmented chunks that allow you to quickly read when you had the time and easily pause whenever was necessary (aka a perfect type of reading when you’re balancing grad school and life).

I definitely enjoyed the vibe of Dear Sugar’s Tiny Beautiful Things (one of my favorite reads of 2016) better but I’m sure this collection will be better appreciated by others. The book reprints questions and answers from Dear Coquette, formerly Coke Talk, with a readership that seems to skew a bit younger with a few questions about high school life and plentiful college related questions. I liked the responses to these younger questions that predominantly were things like “omg have the type of your life with your young love you lil fluff ball!” but then I also found some of the questions, answers, and situations described to be gross things I hope I forever avoid. The book seems to be very hetero-focused, but so are the submitted questions.

While the author’s advice sometimes rubbed me the wrong way, the writer is very aware of that, as seen by these quotes where she describes her advice-giving strategy: “I’m wrong all the damn time” (p. 331), “I’m as completely full of shit as everyone else” (p. 335), and finally, “I’m happy to provide a surrogate background long enough for them (the readers, advice seekers) to feel what it’s like to stand up for themselves” (p. 326).

The book is organized into sections which helped categorize the questions and allowed the book to flow smoothly: Love, Sex, Drugs, Dating, Relationships, Breakups, Friends, Family, Work, Mental, Physical, Spiritual, Individual, Greater Good, and Coquette (about the anonymous writer).

Here’s a link to my favorite piece from the whole book that felt like some very necessary bluntness, and very much provided the surrogate backbone the author wants to give her readers: http://dearcoquette.com/on-not-being-a-doormat/

Some of my other favorite quotes are included below:

“If you live your life trying to avoid the possibility of future pain, you will end up a numb and timid creature without any stories worth telling.” (p. 105)

“[Q:] How do you know when to give up on someone? [A:] When they’ve shown you who they are, and it isn’t enough.” (p. 143)

“The relationship isn’t boring. Life is boring, and you’re just now noticing it for the first time as an adult because you aren’t being distracted by some youthful flavor of chaos.” (p. 144)

p.s. I think I might start reviewing the delicious coffees I use to make my amazing cold brew coffees that I indulge in when I read on weekend mornings? Good idea or best idea?